Sunday, December 3, 2023

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  It is said that when a narcissist looks in the mirror, they see something slightly different. You are not a narcissist. You are perfect just the way you are.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  Today is a good day to get a speeding ticket.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  Everyone is a moon, except you. You are the sun. And the stars. And the sky.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  Have a Skype session with an octopus

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  Spend time with a Crab, they could use the company.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  You will accidentally unlock secret powers to electromagnetize things.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  You will discover a hidden talent for impersonating farm animals. Get ready to moo, cluck, and oink with precision!

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Don't give a Leo advice, they already know everything.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  Your smartphone will start predicting the future with uncanny accuracy.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  If you're feeling seasick, try looking at the horizon.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  Face your anxious mother-in-law with a grin and a box of chocolates

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  A rival is out there. This will become a huge bummer for them.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar