Sunday, November 26, 2023
-
Your pet rock is looking especially cool today. I'm sure it would love for you to take it to a petting zoo.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
You are a beginner at skateboarding, but will learn surprisingly quickly. You will fall down a lot though.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Don't step on the broken glass, it might cut your feet.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
You will find a lost library book that is overdue by 10 years.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
You'll suddenly be overcome by a witchy urge to play Dungeons & Dragons.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
Today you will wake up to discover that all your floors are melting. Wear shoes.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Today you will receive an amazing christmas present you don't expect.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Expose your underbelly to a Libra
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
Do you want to know how the world really looks? Today, you must brave an oppressive apocalyptic future, and perhaps discover something worthwhile while you're at it.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
If you touch a fish in your sleep, it means you'll meet your soul mate by water
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
Today you will be asked to explain your sexual orientation, even though you are clearly too chaotic
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
Tomorrow morning you will find yourself unexpectedly in a spaceship
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
