Monday, November 20, 2023
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Beware of mischievous garden gnomes stealing your freshly baked cookies. Guard them with all your might!
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will have an intense craving for pickles and ice cream.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You have a special someone in your life who truly cares about you. Except that person is a narcissistic parrot who actually doesn't give a damn about you. But you already know that.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Ride a buffalo with a tall Gemini
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Topple a domino today
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A sudden gust of wind will scatter all your sticky notes around the room. It'll be surprisingly inspiring.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Don't stand under that apple tree!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your orders will be obeyed by an army of ants
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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What’s done is done.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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All your dreams will come true today, but none of them will be happy.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Beware of rogue pigeons attempting to steal your lunch today.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
