Thursday, November 16, 2023
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Today you will imagine you feel a sharp prick of electricity in your body, you'll suddenly feel a sudden burning sensation in your left butt cheek, and will be unable to sit down for the rest of day.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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If you are a mammal, today you will communicate with the ancestors.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you'll accidentally turn into a mermaid every time water touches your skin. Just add water!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You have an outhouse in your backyard.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will finally watch a film you've been wanting to for ages
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will receive a red letter in the mail today. Do not open it. It will be an important message in the future.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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If you can afford to have your friends over for a big cookout, then consider doing so! Having people around with good food is always a plus.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Start a band called "The 9th of July".
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will be caught singing along to your favorite song.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You'll suddenly gain phenomenal knowledge of jazz music, so you'll be able to accurately describe every famous musician in detail.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will encounter a mystical talking unicorn who will guide you on a journey of self-discovery.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will find perfectly preserved confused mammoth meat in your freezer. Eat whatever's left
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
