Monday, November 13, 2023
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Beware of mischievous garden gnomes swapping your shampoo with toothpaste. Your hair may get minty fresh!
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today, you will speak with a fork. It will go much better than you expect!
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Beware of mischievous Gorgonzola planning evil schemes against the cheese aisle. Keep a close eye!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will stop looking at clocks and then realize you've spent an entire week living in a completely different world
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you'll suddenly feel like taking a break from the fast-paced modern world. Remember to embrace the moment.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will accidentally send a lewd message to your mentor
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Find a fairy altar and allow nature spirits to influence your decisions
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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An omen is coming your way, but don't worry, it only happens once every thousand years.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will happen upon an unworldly metal tree.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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In ancient cultures, you were seen as the sun and the moon. In modern times, you are seen as a shadowy figure, often in the background, rarely in the spotlight. Today, you can change this by making a big scene in a restaurant.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Your last meal will be tacos.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today, someone will hand you a small brown bag. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, even if you can tell it's the horse you bought for your sister last year.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar