Wacky Horoscopes

Today you will secretly lust over the house across the street

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You are teleported into a parallel universe where every conversation ends with a question mark?

20 Apr – 20 May

You're the type of person who likes to take the scenic route.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a disco party, complete with colorful lights and a dance floor.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You dream about having a bowl cut and being a powerful wizard.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will lose your glasses and find them on your head.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today, you will feel the need to create. Do not do this with paint, as you have no artistic ability whatsoever.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Don't be so down on yourself. A Full Moon means your spirit guide is with you, and everything will be okay.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Make sure to stay hydrated today, especially if you're an Aquarius.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

There is an odd number of fingers on your left hand. I'm not sure if this is important. But it is weird.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You've lost a sock in the dryer. Unfortunately, it will not be found tonight.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

There's no point to this, but it's a good laugh.

19 Feb – 20 Mar