Friday, October 20, 2023
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Today you will be possessed by the spirit of a walrus
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You'll think you've found the perfect insult for someone until you realize it's directed at yourself.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will be visited by a spirit from another realm.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Surprise guests will enter through your television screen, and you'll spend the next four hours explaining how it works and postmodernist architecture
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will win the lottery.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Did you forget your glasses today? You'll be surprised how many different types of dogs you see without them.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A bat will fly into your home through the window today.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your favourite pair of socks will mysteriously vanish, only to reappear as a hat on a passing pigeon.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today. Unless you're in a rush, then it's probably not worth it.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You'll be visited the ghost of your future self, who is very concerned about you.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Expect an impromptu meeting with a tea leaf reader whose uncanny accuracy will leave you questioning the nature of time itself.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will discover you are colour blind but only to gamma rays.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar