Wacky Horoscopes

Today you will miss your bus and will wonder how you ended up here

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will taste the best beer you've ever had. It will be a self-brewed one.

20 Apr – 20 May

Your hair will stand up today.

21 May – 20 Jun

You are INFJ.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Your hairdryer will gain the ability to blow bubbles instead of hot air.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Do not fear change, be the change you want to see in the world. Unless it's your money, then you better keep an eye on it.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

It's always good to have a laugh, especially at someone else's expense. Unless they're a baby, then you should probably just let them cry.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

All cats are grey.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Did you ever want to see a parade of turtles? Of course you did! That's why you're so excited about the one that's coming to your city this weekend!

22 Nov – 21 Dec

The daily grind is getting to you. Try including garlic in your breakfast to help alleviate stress.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Visit an alchemist for a potion

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Find that your crush just can't take a hint; they will invite you to a midnight wedding. SELFIE.

19 Feb – 20 Mar