Wacky Horoscopes

Today is your lucky day. Unfortunately, it only comes around every 3 years.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You'll think of a great name for a band, but someone else will have already used it.

20 Apr – 20 May

You are actually a pirate.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will receive an amazing christmas present you don't expect.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Your pet rock is looking especially cool today. I'm sure it would love for you to take it to a petting zoo.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will finally finish that project you've been putting off for so long.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

The stock market is doing well, if you own stock in tofu nuggets.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will find a lost remote control in the most unexpected place.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

If your hand's bigger than a lobster's, you're in for a shock.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

For an added bonus to your day, make sure you take a picture of yourself before leaving the house.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You can run, but you can't hide. That is, unless you're a ghost. Then you can hide forever.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will experience an intense psychic surge

19 Feb – 20 Mar