Friday, September 22, 2023
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The world is your oyster, so eat it.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Find out how quickly you can run up a flight of stairs without stopping.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Workshop cell reprogramming with a roguish Gemini
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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The stars are aligning for you to start that podcast you've been thinking about.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will wake up to discover that all your floors are melting. Wear shoes.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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All your food will today start to taste like chocolate
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Allow a psychopomp of funerals to ally you with a grizzly
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will discover a secret underground society of tea enthusiasts in your neighborhood.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You'll suddenly gain phenomenal knowledge of jazz music, so you'll be able to accurately describe every famous musician in detail.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will find a lost library book that is overdue by 10 years.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will suddenly grow an extra limb that will tie up your other limbs in knots.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will be serenaded by a chorus of singing frogs during a moonlit stroll in the park.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar