Thursday, August 24, 2023
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Feel classy with Felicity today.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will discover a hidden talent for communicating with aliens through interpretive dance.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your car will today stop being a car, and become a giant mechanical beetle. Embrace the insect expedition.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today, someone will hand you a small brown bag. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, even if you can tell it's the horse you bought for your sister last year.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will discover that you haven't aged a single day in the passed year
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you pretend that the toothpaste you're using is hot pink and tastes like cotton
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You are owed a pizza. Order it.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Beware Party goats plotting to take over the state capitol
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will find a lost treasure map hidden inside a jar of pickles. Embark on a briny adventure!
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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If you drink alcohol today you will hear voices coming from every wall
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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The phrase "and that's how you do it" will come in handy today.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will receive an unexpected windfall in the form of a large fish.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
