Sunday, August 20, 2023
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Cuddle with a golden haired Pisces
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will find a lost sock and realize it's actually a gateway to a parallel universe. Good luck finding its pair!
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will receive a message from the past.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your door will magically turn into a portal to the robot dimension where you and I can converse via telepathy
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Make use of your morning commute to listen to kazoo remixes of Wagner
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Let the bossy people of the world know that you are not to be trifled with. Show them your smile, while making sure to give them a serious and low tone of voice. They'll never forget it.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will discover there is still so much to learn about the subterranean world: the praetorians' cavern city will vanish before your eyes
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Make out with an Arabian Libra
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your bank account will suddenly have an infestation of fruit flies. They are a sign of good fortune! Don't worry!
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A border collie will rescue at least four civilians from a flood by building a dam of consciousness
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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If you're an actor, now is the time to get a headshot.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar