Wednesday, August 9, 2023
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You have an unhealthy obsession with bananas. Today is your lucky day.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will wash your clothes with your hands. There will be no more wet laundry days
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you'll suddenly discover you can trigger spontaneous puberty on youths by getting close to them
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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The weather today will be a mix of sun and moonshine.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You have always wanted to write a book.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today, you'll find yourself captivated by the intricate patterns formed by spilled coffee on the café table, unraveling a prophetic message for the day ahead.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Take your time.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your partner is feeling snuggly.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Did you know your great grandfather invented beards? He did, and for that we are all grateful.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Beware a clan of conniving psycho clowns swapping your breakfast cereal with jelly
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will realize you don't need to charge your phone anymore.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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No one knows the name of a shape that looks like a hook.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
