Friday, August 4, 2023
-
You will find yourself transported to a parallel universe where everyone wears tuxedos
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
There are multiple reasons why your personal life has been so exhausting lately. At least one of them is that you have an abnormally high number of unpaid speeding tickets.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Today, you're going to discover you've been paying your bills twice as long as everyone else.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Take an ionizing shower with a Virgo
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
Today you will encounter a group of synchronized seagulls performing a water ballet at the beach.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
All your abandoned pasta and rice will finally have a chance to shine in an original dish you create today!
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Today you will notice a divine symmetry in nature, and will have a great revelation
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Today you will receive a divorce summons from a lawyer you now find extremely attractive, but you're not married.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
A bubble will appear on your ceiling today.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
You'll suddenly be awakened to an unfamiliar magical world, granting you powers that would seem useless
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
You'll pinch yourself until you feel like you're dreaming
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
If you're an ant, then today is your lucky day.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
