Tuesday, August 1, 2023
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You've just inherited an enormous castle in France. Be sure to take lots of selfies!
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Wrestle with a ninja Aquarius
20 Apr – 20 May
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During the night you will hear voices and will wonder if they're coming from the walls
21 May – 20 Jun
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Don't be alarmed when your sofa cushions start attacking you.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Don't go to work! There's a small chance of an alien invasion, and you don't want to be anywhere near the office in the event of an alien takeover.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will stop looking at clocks and then realize you've spent an entire week living in a completely different world
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Prepare for a surprising twist during your daily commute when you stumble upon a hidden underground disco club on the subway.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will befriend a magical dragon who will become your loyal companion. Get ready for epic adventures!
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you'll try to dye your hair purple, but it'll come out pink.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you'll meet a politician. It'll be a boring conversation.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will be well acquainted with the subject of bugs
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Trans people are hot. This will prove important to remember.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
