Wacky Horoscopes

There is a journey to be taken, and you are the only one who can take it. Ask yourself, "Do I want to?"

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will encounter a group of synchronized cows performing a ballet in the middle of a field.

20 Apr – 20 May

You will receive a mysterious package containing a magic wand. Practice your spells wisely.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will create an incredible fresh and spicy salad dressing

21 Jun – 22 Jul

When you wake up today, take a few minutes to plan something nice for yourself. Then, get right back into bed.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Today you will meet a girl at a festival who will convince you to hug her

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will finally be regarded as both a domestic god and a vegetable revolutionary

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Your trousers will all perish in a surprise wildfire

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Have you ever wanted to make a blanket fort? Today is the day!

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Face your anxious mother-in-law with a grin and a box of chocolates

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Ever wanted to go on a blind date? Well, they're not all bad. Just remember to wear your glasses.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

If you ever wanted to buy a boat, now is the perfect time.

19 Feb – 20 Mar