Today's Wacky Horoscopes
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There are multiple spiders living in your hair.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will go on a first date. You will find out that your date's name is also your name.
20 Apr – 20 May
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Pictures of you will turn out fantastically well today.
21 May – 20 Jun
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There are ghosts in your bedroom.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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That would be a big plate of…bread.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will realize your doctor is a thief
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will realize someone took your letter, and you'll have to spend hours trying to recall what you've written
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will wake up and your first thought will be happy birthday to me.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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A chance encounter with a mysterious stranger will spark your interest in joining a secret society.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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While running on the treadmill, you will suddenly fly into your ceiling.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If you don't have anything nice to say to yourself, then don't say anything at all.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A chance meeting with a stranger will lead you to a profound insight about the nature of, well, anything really. It may not be true, but it's definitely profound.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
